Dear Boys,

You may not understand all of this now, at  10, 7 and 4, but someday you will. Someday, you will know that I fed you genetically modified food for 9 and a half years, and you will wonder why. You will wonder how someone could do that to their children. You may wonder why I didn't know. You may wonder why I wasn't more vigilant to find out. You may wonder why I didn't take you to the doctors more often or sooner and find out why you had so many allergies. You may wonder why you felt so tired, distracted and felt out of control cranky,  why you  had to go to school with a rash around your mouth and feel embarrassed for weeks. You may wonder why you thought something  was wrong with you.You may wonder why I just gave up and basically said " You have allergies and that's the way it is. Deal with it."

You may think that my lack of action around your allergies and interest in what  we were eating was some sort of sign that I didn't love you. I am sorry. I am so so so sorry that I did not wonder more myself.

I got resigned. I got doubtful. And I was in denial that  there was anything I could do about it. It was just easier to believe that I was doing a good job and your allergies ( to wheat/gluten, nuts, peanuts, eggs, dairy, mushrooms, red food dye and carageenan) were genetic somehow, because I have mold allergies. I justified everything...it's okay if you have a "treat" at  your friends house, it's okay if you  "enjoy" the birthday party and have the cake and soda. It's okay if you drink or eat food with milk in it ( with RBGH hormones) because I had no idea what that was and "Milk does a body good". I really did think I was feeding you the way I did and loving you by "letting you" eat the sweet, colorful, enticingly crunchy, treats or fast food. I really did think we could trust what was on the shelves and  it was our right  as Americans to have easy, plentiful, tasty food available to us in two minutes at  a drive through. I got cranky when it  wasn't. Little did I know that it was the food that was making me cranky and my expectations were blinded by corporate greed brainwashing. I didn't know...and I am sorry for not finding out.

You may wonder, someday, how a whole generation could allow genetically modified foods into our supply unlabeled, and without media notice, when over 50 other countries labeled or banned GMOs when they were introduced.  You may wonder why we not only didn't get them tested first, but we funded these toxic crops with billions of our own tax money. You may wonder how we could let  organic food get contaminated by GM crops and then let those organic farmers get sued. You may wonder why your mother didn't do anything about such injustice.

Once studies did emerge, you may wonder how we could ignore test results from a 2 year rat study that grew tumors, had 55% of their babies die that were fed GM soy ( versus 6 and 9% of control groups fed no soy and non gmo soy) and those that did survive were smaller and sterile by the third generation. You may wonder how we could go one more day without labeling and banning these foods.You may wonder how we could be so careless and stupid. On behalf of the American people of this generation, on behalf of Moms everywhere, I apologize. With a my whole heart I am so sorry.

Our system is broken, and we, with our endless desire for easy, cheap , fast and tasty, are the ones who broke it. We forgot to value whole, fresh vegetables and fruits. We forgot that home cooking brings families together at home instead of getting the family out and about and busy. We forgot that food costs money to seed,plant, grow, harvest and transport and that our budget should reflect food as preventative health care. We forgot that we have a responsibility to budget, plan, and just buy less junk like electronics and food with toys and more real food like kale.They made it, yes, but we bought it. We forgot that we need to know what is in our food and that we need to speak up and demand truth and health.

So my sons, I write this to you not as an explanation, to defend my laziness, ignorance and blind  trust in a broken system, but to let you know that I know NOW. In the late summer of 2012, my life, and the future of your life, altered when I found out about genetically modified foods. And now I have different non-apology for you.

I am not sorry that you will not be eating that birthday cake filled with GMO corn oil frosting and soy lecithin and GM ingredients. ( I will bring non GM cupcakes)

I am not sorry that you will not be eating GM lunches at school. ( I will pack them.)

I am not sorry that you will be bringing all your own food to Cub Scouts and friend's houses. ( I will give you snacks)

And I am not sorry that we will be at rallies to speak up against GMO Salmon and marching on July 4th.

You may feel sorry now, when I say no. But my No means YES. YES for life. Yes for health. YES for this vast, unending love I have for you that fills my soul and overflows into this world that we can create together... that values first...HEALTH not money, PEOPLE and PLANET,  not profit. I will give up that "it's hard" and take on that I "get to" be your Mom and provide you with healthy food.

The future belongs to us. The future of food belongs to all of us. As a Mom, I know now that 85% of the food is bought by Moms, so 85% of the responsibility is on us. It is up to us to fix this.

As a respresentative of many Moms, we say, " We're NOT Buying it!" We are not buying GMO food. We are not buying the lies of safety. We are not buying the stories about feeding billions. Because we see the one or three children, that are worth more to us than billions of dollars, RIGHT IN FRONT OF US, get worse on GMO food and drastically improve when they are  not eating them.

I am sorry for you, Monsanto and FDA, but the jig is up. Moms are  finding out everyday. You may have the money, but we have the golden gift of gab and hearts that are  bigger than your wallets. Ignoring that GMO food doesn't work for humans or our planet, no longer works. Find another way.

Boys, I love you. I always did and I always will. Forgive me for the past. Let's create a healthy  future together.

Zen Honeycutt

Organizer of Moms Across America March July 4th 2013